The Sheltering Tree of Friendship

On occasion, a stranger walks into our lives who becomes the dearest of friends. We look back and remember how quickly we connected with them, how we just seemed to “get” one another.

A Sudden Discovery

One such incident in my life

was a dinner party arranged

for my husband, Alan, and me

to meet a new faculty member

and his wife at the college where

Alan worked. As the night

progressed, I had the distinct

impression that this was a couple

with whom we could become good friends. That impression became reality. Since then, many years have passed and though we now live in different states, the experiences we shared during those college years, both joyous and pain-filled, keep our hearts bound together with cords of the deepest of friendship love.

C.S. Lewis describes this sudden encountering of a new friendship as when you “discover that [you] have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share” …and you might exclaim, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!”[1] We then experience a truly delightful and life-altering good gift from God.

One such Biblical friendship is portrayed through the close and loving relationship between Old Testament Jonathon and the future king, David. That friendship, offered to David by Jonathon, was above all sacrificial as Jonathon willingly and humbly relinquished his accension to the throne (he was King Saul’s eldest son) because he believed God had chosen David for that role. He remained closer than any brother, and offered his love, comfort, and compassion: though he listened to David’s most painful thoughts and fears, he tendered deep and caring sympathy, yet often, through wise counsel, pointed David to the right path. Jonathon was the kind of friend we all desire to have and to be.

A Deeply Planted Tree

The thought of friendship as a sheltering tree drew me to Psalm 1. What makes a tree so sturdy and strong that it can offer shelter from the blistering sun of

discouragement or resilience when the storms of life wreak havoc in our lives? Psalm 1 provides the answer:

A blessed man. . .

Delights in the law of the LORD,

And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.

A blessed man (or woman) delights in the law of the Lord which means they not only consider it and meditate on it, but purpose in their hearts to obey the Scripture’s commands. They are planted deep in the word of God so bring forth much fruit. And part of that fruitfulness is the sharing of life in the sheltering tree of our friendship to others.

Chosen for One Another

In another passage Lewis writes:

For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you’ can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing.[2]

He goes on to describe this Friendship as a feast spread out for us throughout our lives and we are the invited guests. And the gracious host, our dearest Friend, Jesus, is the one who presides.

The Most Faithful Friend Perhaps though, you have never experienced such a close earthly friendship: a deep yearning within your soul has yet to be satisfied. This is when we must look to our dearest Friend, the One, who unlike earthly friendships, never disappoints, is always available to listen to our deepest heart needs, and loves us like no other, even with all our failures and faults. When we have come to Jesus, confessing our sins, accepting His gift of salvation, He says to us, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends (emphasis mine), for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you (John 15:15)

One of the reasons Jesus came to earth to live among us was so He could relate to our sorrows and temptations but never yielded to them as we do. Hebrews 4:15 assures us, “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.” Throughout Scripture the love, mercy, grace, compassion, long-suffering, and removal of all our sins by our Friend is assured.

A hymn from my childhood expresses this friendship relationship so well.

What a friend we have in Jesus All our sins and griefs to bear What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit O what needless pain we bear All because we do not carry

everything to God in prayer

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful Who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness Take it to the Lord in prayer.[3]

What a sheltering tree of friendship we have in Jesus!

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[1] C.S. Lewis, The Business of Heaven, The Birth of a Friendship, Daily Readings From C.S. Lewis, (Harcourt Brace & Company, San Diego, CA, 1984), 160 [2] C.S. Lewis, The Business of Heaven, Friendship Needs Divine Protection, Daily Readings From C.S. Lewis, (Harcourt Brace & Company, San Diego, CA, 1984), 160

[3] Joseph Medlicott Scriven, What a Friend We Have in Jesus, lyrics written in 1855; Charles Crozat Converse, melody composed in 1868; Oliver Ditson & Co., lyrics with tune published 1870.