Can You Have It All?

Imagine thirteen dinner guests appearing at your doorstep, famished and road weary. You know they are on their way but aren’t sure of their exact arrival time. Furthermore, your brother may have invited a few other friends, too! All the preparation details combined with the uncertainty of the coming event causes you to feel a bit hurried and frazzled!

In the account from Luke 10, this is the dilemma Martha faces. Jesus and his disciples visit His friends Mary, Martha, and Lazarus at their home. Martha welcomes them; she takes charge but is occupied by preparing, coordinating, and “distracted with much serving” (v. 40). In contrast, younger sister Mary slips away to hear from her Lord as she sits at His feet. Perhaps after she helped with the initial preparations, Mary felt her sister had gone overboard in her arrangements (hence Luke’s description of Martha as “distracted”).

A Heart of Worship

Mary’s actions are anything but normative. In Jewish culture, women would typically serve a meal, then remove themselves quietly from a male gathering. Mary, however, boldly seats herself among the disciples and other men! Amazingly, Jesus doesn’t rebuke her but encourages her despite the rabbinical rules that pronounced, “It would be better [that] the Articles of the Law be burned than that their contents be revealed to a woman publicly.”

Clearly, Jesus rejects the “wisdom” of such rabbis! He turns established rules and traditions upside down as he confronts people’s misguided beliefs. This perspective is illustrated well in this story about Mary and Martha, the sisters from Bethany.

Are You Worried and Troubled?

Furthermore, Jesus doesn’t view Mary as incapable of “religious” instruction as the Pharisees taught. In fact, Jesus praises Mary as one who made the better choice of worship over excessive meal planning and arranging. In response to Martha’s complaint that her sister had abandoned her serving duties, Jesus replies, “‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her’ ”

(vv. 41–42). In this scene, Mary, exhibits a heart of worship (the kind of heart I long for) while Martha remains consumed with entertaining duties.

What would it take for us to become like Mary, to set aside the busyness and distractions of life to seek Jesus’ face?

The You-Can-Have-It-All Message

As with Martha, we often lament, “I just don’t have enough time!” Yet

is this complaint true? Does God

demand we accomplish more than

is reasonable in a twenty-four-hour

period? Or is something else the

problem? Perhaps we are being

conformed—squeezed into the mold

(as Romans 12 describes)—of our hectic,

too-busy society.

In our time, technology makes life easier in myriad ways. Women of Jesus’ day could not imagine a household with time-saving devices like washing machines, clothes dryers, microwaves, dishwashers, and air-conditioners. With these advances, the culture asserts that we can be everywhere, accomplish anything, and acquire everything without diminishing our quality of life. However, these innovations also increase life’s pressures. The you-can-have-it-all message is a false one, as our unhappy, anxiety-ridden society bears witness. For technological gadgets bring enumerable distractions. We can access movies, television, phone, and internet services on small devices that fit any purse or palm. Its relentless demands devour our time, energy, and attention.

In her book Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, MIT technology specialist Dr. Sherry Turkle asserts that technology can bring loneliness rather than connection:

In a surprising twist, relentless connection leads to a new

solitude. We turn to new technology to fill the void, but as

technology ramps up, our emotional lives ramp down.

According to Turkle, technologies change the ways we relate to one another. We can be in the company of friends and family, but our mental focus is elsewhere. Further, writer Annie Dillard reminds us, “How we spend our days . . . is how we spend our lives.”

A Peaceful Withdrawal

In addition to distraction, electronic communication can also become a substitute for spiritual communion. In times of crisis, we quickly turn to friends or family for support, comfort, and encouragement instead of withdrawing to seek God. Further, we vent our frustrations on social media or through angry emails.  We are enticed by the faulty assumption that somehow the internet has the answers to life’s problems. It is not wrong to seek solace and guidance from others; however, seeking the Lord first can provide the insights and spiritual wisdom we truly need.

Christian scholar C.S. Lewis rightly observed, “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

Therefore, we must protect our hearts and minds from social media’s seductive lure and life’s demands. If we can secure unhurried time with Jesus, then we can find His peace, His purpose, and His joy. We must seek and plan for spiritual seclusion—that peaceful withdrawal from activity—to commune with our Creator through prayer and contemplation of his Word and ways. The psalmist instructs us, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path,” and “Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble” (Psalm 119:105, 165).

Time with Jesus Changes Us

Jesus’ disciples were a diverse group. The Gospel writers honestly described their faults and failings. They freely expressed their doubts, questions, and errors. Yet, their time with the Son of God transformed them, and others noticed: “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13). I love that! The days and hours Peter and John spent with Jesus were apparent to the Sanhedrin, the ruling Jewish body, as they interrogated those ordinary men.

Can others see the same transformation in us, who are followers of Jesus? Such change comes about as we sit at His feet in Bible study and prayer, like Mary, then obey the truths we learn. Through spiritual disciplines such as these we become more like our Master.  Isn’t that our heart’s desire?

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I delve more deeply into this problem and its solutions in my new book, The Private Side of Leadership. Purchase now!