The Hardest Thing You are Asked to Do

The couple’s life dissolved into shambles. They had once known prominence and wealth: the father was a well-respected leader in their community; they parented beautiful children that anyone would be proud to call their own. Their livelihood had grown year after year. Surely, God’s favor and blessing were upon them.

Then, one day, their fortunes forever changed. The father lost his thriving business through no fault of his own. Soon after, a terrible tragedy struck when a fierce storm roared in, stealing the lives of all their children. To add to the couple’s grief and sorrow, the father lost his health.

Compounding their grief, his friends accused him of secretly hiding some terrible sin, for God was surely bringing judgment upon him, they said. Even though the father tried to defend himself from these false accusations, no one listened to him.

A Well-Worn Path

Of course, this is the well-known story of Old Testament Job. Has anyone ever suffered more intensely than he? In the worst circumstances of his life, he found no comforters, only critics. It seemed his family and most of his friends, even his wife, abandoned him. Perhaps they were concerned that he was under the condemnation of God. Thus, association with him might bring disaster on their own heads.

Sadly, as everyone who walks this earth has experienced, distressing circumstances, often while we are in crisis, frequently lead to difficult or broken relationships. This is a hearbreakingly common occurrence during our journey through this fallen world. We groan as we ask, why are relationships so hard? We long for close, intimate family and friend connections, for comfort in our distress, but often we find ties severed, angry, critical words spoken, hearts broken. In these circumstances, is it possible to overcome strong negative emotions in order to offer love and forgiveness as Jesus does?

Now I See You!

First of all, the Psalmist tells us that our Father understands our frailty in those moments. His pleading song clearly pictures the Lord’s merciful kindness towards us:

Be merciful to me, O Lord, For I cry to You all day long.

Rejoice the soul of Your servant, For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,

And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You. (Psalm 86: 4-5)

As we identify with Job in his suffering, we can also identify with his heart’s cry, “I had heard of You with my ears, but now my eyes see you” (Job 42:5), for God can uniquely reveal Himself in our sufferings as in no other life experience. As C.S. Lewis states, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord, that we may see You and hear You.

Also, the anguished sufferings of Jesus are foreshadowed in the life of Job. As we answer the call to partake in the fellowship of Jesus’ suffering (Philippians 3:10), to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily and follow Him (Luke 9:23), He calls us to forgive as He has forgiven us.

Astonishing Forgiveness

Perhaps the most astonishing part of Job’s story is the ending. There we first learn about Job’s siblings and other friends. In the first 41 chapters, describing the darkest days of his life, these people are nowhere to be found. In fact, Job 19: 13-14 tells us that his brothers, acquaintances, relatives and close friends have all failed and forgotten him. Yet, once Job’s fortunes changed course, when the heavy hand of God had been lifted, they showed up to celebrate!

Did they apologize for not being by Job’s side through his terrible trials? The Scriptures do not tell us, but think about it! How would we respond? I would have been asking, Are you kidding me? Where were you when I needed you? Such responses of astonishment and disappointment would certainly be understandable, wouldn’t they? Perhaps we have even expressed them when others have hurt us or let us down. Yet what about Job? How does he respond?

We hear no incriminating words. No harsh judgments for their failures to support him. Instead, Job welcomes them to his table: Come feast with me; rejoice with me! He extends mercy and grace in an act of unspoken forgiveness. This is a picture of the Gospel where the Lord Jesus Christ invites sinners, you and me, His enemies, to come dine with Him. Love so amazing, so divine![i]

I love what Lewis Smedes wrote concerning forgiveness:

Love does not have to clear up all misunderstandings. In its power, the details of the past become irrelevant. Accounts may go unsettled, differences remain unsolved, ledgers stay unbalanced. Conflict between people’s memories of how things happened are not cleared up. The past stays muddled. Love prefers to tuck all the loose ends of past rights and wrongs in the bosom of forgiveness and pushes us into a new start. To love towards a reconciled life is one of the hardest things any human being is ever asked to do but love is the power to do that.[ii]

What Will Our Cross Look Like?

So, the question arises, what are we willing to bear to bring about reconciliation with those who have hurt us or who are in conflict with us? How will that cross-bearing look?

To be sure, this is not speaking of abuse or life-threatening situations. Those need to be dealt with through counseling or some intervention. What I am addressing here are the common situations we all find ourselves in: conflict, differing opinions, unfair judgments, careless words or actions.

Jesus spoke often of His coming cross and the cross His disciples would need to carry if they were to follow Him. The Romans viewed the cross as the worst form of punishment; it was meant to humiliate, to bring complete degradation, which is why they employed its use. The followers of Christ saw tortured individuals hanging on those crosses almost daily. Yet, did they understand the significance when Jesus willingly, humbly bore all that the Cross represented to reconcile us to God? When He said, “Take up your cross, and follow Me?”

In forgiveness, our cross can be humbling and painful and costly, just as it was for our Savior. Yet this is what He calls us to. Laying down our right to be right, we reach out in love, realizing that Jesus reaches down in love and mercy and forgiveness every morning—great Is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23). This is the life He calls us to live in Him. The rewards of such obedience are incalculable.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

[i]Anderson, David. “From Riches to Rags to Riches.” Sermon on Job 42: 7-17, 1/8/2017. Littleton Bible Chapel. (I encourage you to listen to this excellent sermon on forgiveness). https://www.littletonbiblechapel.org/sermons?sapurl=LysyYjU2L2xiL21pLys5anZ5dnJ0P2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZQ==

[ii]Smedes, Lewis B. AZQuotes. www.azquotes.com