Mercy Triumphs

Recently, I observed my seven-year-old granddaughter’s dance class and smiled as the little girls twirled, attempting to be graceful. One child, however, stood out—not because she was an amazing dancer but because of her flagrant disobedience. I soon became annoyed and distracted as she ignored her instructor’s every direction throughout the 45-minute class. Frustrated, I pondered the child’s obvious lack of effective parenting.

After class, we moved to a room where the girls changed from their dance slippers into their street shoes. The mother of the ill-behaved child, looking drained and haggard, was sitting with her son who obviously had a developmental disability. Remorse stabbed me for my hasty critique. While walking to our car, my granddaughter explained that the disobedient girl had a twin sister who also attended the class.

Pierced by my harsh judgment, I thought, Who am I to judge this child or her mother while having no knowledge or understanding of their circumstances? After all, I had never walked in that woman’s shoes. The apostle James’ warning about “judgment without mercy” came to mind (James 2:13). I felt convicted.

Sadly, isn’t this what we often do as we make hasty evaluations of people’s behavior or their situations without knowledge of their life realities? Also, we can be quick to judge the motives behind other’s actions when we find them disagreeable or their behavior hurtful. We immediately assess guilt and condemn without offering grace, compassion, understanding, or forgiveness.

A story that further illustrates this truth concerns Elisabeth Elliot, one of five young missionary wives whose husbands were killed by the Auca Indians in a remote part of Ecuador in 1956. Elisabeth and Rachel Saint, sister of Nate Saint (who was also killed), chose to live among the tribe to continue the mission of reaching them for Christ. However, these women differed in their approaches for evangelizing the tribe. After two years of constant conflict, Elisabeth realized that she and Rachel could no longer work together effectively. With great sorrow and disillusionment, she returned to the United States where she would have a fruitful ministry as an author and speaker.

Several years after her return to the States, two male missionaries, who had been critical of Elisabeth’s inability to work alongside Rachel, visited her. Their reason? To apologize! After Elisabeth left Ecuador, they had also tried to collaborate with Rachel, but they faced similar conflicts. This is not to say that Elisabeth and these men were faultless. Certainly, working together in a broken world with imperfect people is challenging. Each of these missionaries, no doubt, had a great love for this tribe and truly wanted to see them come to Christ. However, when pride and judgmental attitudes arise, ministry becomes more difficult.

The motivating factor behind such stories is often our pride. Since the Garden of Eden, this deadly sin has corrupted the human race. Like Adam and Eve, we delude ourselves, believing that we can be equal with God. For in our pride, we exalt ourselves by judging others. We imagine that our insights into another’s behavior are God-like, that we can evaluate their hearts, minds, and actions as clearly as He does. Yet Isaiah records,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts.” (55:8-9)

Scripture also reminds us, “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12).

Another effect of pride is that it impairs our eyesight, causing us to judge ourselves and others through a warped lens of distorted reality. While we magnify the sins of others and minimize God's goodness in them, we have an amazing ability to diminish or excuse our own vile, sinful behaviors or even view our deeds as somehow admirable. However, Jesus admonished us to remove the wooden plank distorting our own eyesight before attempting to remove the small splinters in another's eyes (Luke 6:41).

Perhaps if we first asked God to search our hearts, to identify our wicked ways, and to lead us in His everlasting way, we would more readily allow HIm to reveal and remove those planks that blind us (Psalm 139:23-24). Might we then be amazed by how small that splinter of offense is in our brother's eye? Might we see that our irritation is often nothing more than a personal annoyance? What freedom we would experience, then, in loving "one another deeply because love covers a multitude of sin" (I Peter 4:8).

Jesus confronted the religious leaders of His day concerning their spiritual sickness, warning that their religious pride would destroy them. His mission as the Great Physician involved healing the sick, not just physically but spiritually (Luke 5:31). We must not delude ourselves. Pride can destroy us as well. Our remedy is to seek the Savior’s healing touch, as we identify and confess our pride as sin and humble ourselves before Him. In response, He promises to cleanse us by His forgiveness. As we daily wage war against self-conceit and judgmental attitudes, we ask God to search our hearts for this often-secret sin. The Word of God and the Holy Spirit dwelling in us can loosen pride’s hold.

As with Elisabeth and Rachel, some disagreements concern conflicts with no outright answer. In those cases (unless it is a doctrinal or moral issue) preserving the peace may require us to relinquish our desires, as Elisabeth yielded the mission work to Rachel. We may choose to step aside rather than claim the win. Humility, born from the daily sacrifice of a cross-bearing life, slays our pride along with its desires.

When we find forgiveness almost impossible, however, we can remember Christ on the Cross, who bore our awful shame and disgrace and forgives us – completely. He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Our grievances against others look small in comparison. So when a spirit of pride or angry judgment grips us, let us quickly turn toward the One whose steadfast love, compassion, and forgiveness await us every morning. James wrote, “judgment without mercy will be shown to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13). As we show grace instead of judgment, we give evidence of having received God’s mercy ourselves.

A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor (Proverbs 29:23, NIV).