Finding God in the Lowest Places: A Journey Through Grief and Grace

How do we survive when the worst happens? Can there be any hope when we find ourselves surrounded by powerful enemies? I pondered these questions recently when the American withdrawal from Afghanistan brought pictures of terror and fear into local news broadcasts. As desperate individuals clung to airplanes that spun them into space, it was hard to look away. In the horror and destruction that followed, I prayed, “Oh God, where are You? Do You see what’s happening? This tragedy is surely an earthly hell for the vulnerable left behind who must face the wrath of insurgents? Why, Lord, have You allowed people to remain in the midst of this tragedy?”

Where is God?

During that prayer, Psalm 139:8 came to mind: “If I ascend up into heaven, You are there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.” Indeed, that truth has been manifested in the lives of many believers. For example, it remained true for Corrie and Betsie ten Boom, two sisters who, during World War 2, endured imprisonment in Ravensbruck concentration camp. After being arrested for hiding Jews in their Dutch home, these middle-aged women faced humiliation, mockery, beatings, starvation, flea infestations, and death. Even though both sisters were devout Christians, Corrie wondered, where was God? Did He see their suffering?

In her book A Prisoner and Yet, Corrie would later write that God surely was there! He revealed Himself in amazing ways, allowing Corrie to smuggle Bibles, clothes, and vitamins into the camp. When she escaped the guard’s cruel notice, she recounted the peace and confidence that came from the Lord’s presence, so that a triumphant cry to God rose within her. She could face Ravensbruck without fear. Consequently, the sisters ministered to others amid their flea-infested barracks, assuring their fellow prisoners that God’s presence was truly everywhere!

This same divine provision amid danger and despair is also evident in the story of the shepherd boy, David, who would later become Israel’s king. At that time, Israel faced threats from the Philistines, a menacing tribe of giants. When David carried provisions to the battlefield, he witnessed Israel’s battle-hardened warriors cowering under the threats of the Philistine warrior Goliath. Spurred on by his faith, David killed Goliath with his slingshot. His ensuing exploits brought him not only military success in Israel, but also made him the object of King Saul’s jealousy and hatred. As a result, David endured the hell of living years as a fugitive, often hiding in caves as he ran for his life. Yet David’s faithfulness and God’s mercy endured. The Psalms that David penned as he experienced those hellish days still provide much solace to us who are weary, fearful travelers.

Likewise, we may face great sorrow brought by difficult circumstances: a dreadful diagnosis, a demand for divorce, a trusted friend’s betrayal, or, as with our Afghan brothers and sisters, the threat of murder. In those times, it’s easy to feel abandoned or penalized. God seems to have turned His back on us. Such experiences can shake our faith, especially if we stand only on experience rather than the solid ground of God’s Word. We must remember in despairing moments that God’s will may not only be unbearably painful but also may demand great sacrifice. The agonizing cost of God’s will required that Jesus sacrifice His own life. It may ours as well. After struggling with God’s will, just as Jesus did (Matthew 2:39), we can learn to pray with Him, “‘Not My will, but Yours, be done’” (Luke 22:42).

God’s enduring compassion

Understanding God’s compassion in crisis moments is vital if we are to endure severe difficulties that test our faith. As Steve Estes writes, “Our call to suffer comes from a God tender beyond description. If we do not cling to this through life’s worst, we will misread everything and grow to hate him”[i] How can we doubt the love of this One who gave the ultimate sacrifice of His life for us? So, we ask ourselves, what great work might God produce in us as He did through Corrie, the shopkeeper’s daughter, or through David, the shepherd boy, or through those Afghan Christians, caught in dire circumstances? God is writing His story on their lives as well as ours so that others might “read” them and be encouraged to follow Him in their own painful times. What richness will our times of struggle bring to the lives of those we touch?

Once, Jesus asked His disciples if they would turn away from Him as many other disappointed followers had done. Peter responded, “‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Also, we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God’” (John 6:68-69). Finding ourselves in the lowest hell reminds us that hardships are meant to crush our illusions that life on earth can ever satisfy.That realization makes us look more fervently toward the hope of heaven fulfilled in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. May we walk by faith that is fueled by God’s enduring promises.

I delve more deeply into this issue and its solutions in my new book, The Private Side of Leadership.

[i]Joni Earekson Tada and Steve Estes,When God Weeps, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan 1997), 39.